Wednesday 21 July 2010

A boob of large proportions...

Boy #2: "Mummy. Why do you need boobs?"

Boobs? Boobs? Where has he heard that word?

Me: "Um, well, because I'm a woman. And women have breasts."

Please don't push me on what we need them for - memories of walking into the bathroom last year to find you trying to use your brother's nipples for what they will never achieve are still too fresh...

Boy #2 (very seriously and matter of factly): "In England, you know, we call them boobs."

He puts his hands firmly on my chest to indicate exactly what he's talking about.

Me (where did he hear this?): "Yes, but we also call them 'breasts'."

Boy #1 (mischievously smiling): "Breadsticks? Do we call them 'breadsticks'?"

Me (give me strength): "No, Boy #1, I said 'Breasts'. BREAASTSS."

Boy #2: "So. In England, some people call them breads. BREADS. But my Auntie K has bigger ones than you and she calls them Boobs. So that is what I will call them. Boobs."

Boy #2 then jumps around the bedroom, clasping his chest and shouting: "Boob-di-boob, do-di-boob. Boob-boo-di-boob..."

Repeat to fade.


Just wait 'till I get hold of my sister...


14 comments:

  1. Well, it's better than "tits" isn't it?
    BTW the reason I was never allowed to call my grandma "nana" was because that was what my mother and her siblings called boobs!

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  2. Breadsticks? That's funny. I have to admit, we have had similar conversations and continue to do so!

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  3. EPM, that's just wrong. WRONG!!!! I will never be able to look at my nana in the same way again...)

    RS, how did we get here, that's what I want to know?

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  4. I used to feel that my breasts weren't my own, everybody had a claim or an opinion on them, husband included. Thank god those days are over. Long time favourite remark by my daughter - 'I am growing into a lady, I have just got flat boobies, dat is de problem.' (At age 4, smoothing down her chest as she spoke). They love boobies, and why not, boobies gave them life, so may as well go with the flow!

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  5. You know my views here. If in doubt, just ask Tara. Or Laura for that matter.

    Key phrase "Boobs as bum"...

    LCM x

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  6. Very funny. I am looking forward to when my daughter can talk.

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  7. I'm sorry. I'll make sure that I call them breadsticks in future.

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  8. this is a subject close to my heart as I am currently rewriting the web copy for a maternity bra site and keep trying to come up with different ways to say breasts that makes them sound less medical without being offensive. Bosoms? Not sure breadsticks is going to cut it on this site somehow.

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  9. Don't bother - it's only going to get worse and you'll never be able to police what friends and family teach them.....have you bought your sheepskin DM's yet?? Lx

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  10. I love the fact that he knows that your sister's are bigger so obviously that makes her the expert.

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  11. I'm glad boy #2 has made up his mind about that. He's going to be a real lady's man. I can see him now, grabbing women's breasts and saying, "I call them boobs!"

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  12. Sibling strife! One of the drawbacks of being back home.

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  13. Love it! Love these conversations. my conversatons with betty are starting to go along these lines. she pointed to mine yesterday evening shook her head and said 'hmmm you don't have milk in those anymore do you mummy'

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  14. Breadsticks? I suppose it's quite close to 'baps'.

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Go on - you know you want to...